Family

Well last night was one of the most intense nights of my life. I learned to appreciate family more, not that i didn't already. I also learned that life can change in a second. I was  an evacuation alert preparing to be evacuated with all of our belongings and essentials we wanted in case of. We were waiting for the knock that thankfully never came. I am still shaken up about it and can't seem to concentrate at anything. I am still worried that i will get a phone call saying a fire came again. Maybe i am over exaggerating but when your life could be changed in a second and you have no say over it, it is scary. I am still scared and will ever be watching my back and the news.

I hope this will pass so i don't have to live in fear.

I love my family and will never forget the feelings of last night.

Standing up for what is right.

Well it is only 9:35am and I already want this day to be over. I took a stand for myself in class on such things like the teachers duty to help the student. Well good and bad came of it. There were people in the class who agreed and stood up also but there was also people who were scared, scared of what? I have no idea. My point for this blog today is stand up for yourself.

If you don't think something is going the way it is, stand up make a difference. This world has gotten so lost in expectations of others. What happened to expectations of our self? Somewhere along the line our human race has lost itself. I think pathetic people are the ones who submit to fear. You cant be scared of the unknown because it is just that... unknown, you dont know either way.

This world is becoming nothing that i thought it would be, but i guess that is bound to happen when you grow up. My goal in life is to make this place better for the generations after me. I am really fed up with people who can't do this for them self. If you complain be able to stand up, if not dont complain if you don't want to change it.

People People PEOPLE

So this morning I have a lot of anger, towards selfish people of the world! I HATE HATE HATE selfish people. I dont get the point in being selfish. What do you learn if you are always depending on someone else. For the people in the world that use people: YOU SUCK! You hurt people who actually care about you, and you will never be satisfied with your life. One day daddy and mommy are going to be gone. ugh!!!!

Is there anyone out there?

So lately like I said I have been doing a lot of soul searching.. During this process I have lost a lot of people, I have made some mistakes and continue like any human being. I can only imagine what our world would be like full of loving, honest and true to yourself people. Everyone one in this world no matter what color, what religion, what size, what shape and what "class", everyone is fighting in this world. We always have someone else to bow down to or listen to, society has put so much on our plate yet no one is willing to fight more than they already do.

I wish this world was a better place, I wish kids didn't starve or get abused, I wish everyone was equal (no matter what you say we are not), I wish everyone was trustworthy, I wish everyone simply cared.

Lately I feel so alone, I feel I am the only one feeling the way I do. Yes, there are people in worse situations than I am, but that doesn't mean very much because we were all giving different methods of how we deal with it. People think I am this strong leader when really I not. I wish people took the time to get to know me before judging me. 

I struggle everyday and have been for my whole life. My life road wasnt easy and never will be. Thats life. But I am trying to make this world a better place for me. I wish more people would fight for what they believe in, I do everyday maybe not in the same manor as most but I still fight. 

To be honest, I dont have a lot of friends that would stick by me through any and every thing you know why? Because they are afraid of what others think. This world seems to be messed up, and maybe I am the only one who thinks like this. 

This post was all over the place, like usual. The point I am trying to make is simply care, dont make this life harder for others when you are struggling yourself. Have compassion, you dont need a religion or to go to church every sunday to be a good person. Dont worry what others think, Dont judge and people wouldnt have to worry. Our human race and society has frankly gone down the tubes. Everyone complains but no one wants to fix it, than dont complain! I am complaining but i am also trying to fix this! 

In the end, we are living to die. We dont need stupid materials we dont need drama. We need knowledge and good people around us. Maybe one day our nation will be able to unite and soon the world, but for now I am surviving. 

Its been awhile!

So I bet you thought I forgot! Nope!!! I have been super busy between school and work. I am now going to College in Lethbridge, for a Paralegal. I have 9 months left out of a 14 month program.

In other news, I was engaged (got out of that one, which was the best choice of my life) now i am single. I am learning a lot about myself and i am striving to gather who i am before anymore romantic encounters haha. I am much happier now, but i seem to struggle with a lot of little things that affects my everyday life. I am getting there though, and i know it will take a lot of hard work. I am starting to feel worthy of love from anyone, I am learning to trust again. It will be a long road but worth it in the end, I know that everyone that has come into my life were here for a reason. I may be sad for them not being here, but i have to remember the good things in life and what good things they taught me.

During the last little while i have came to the conclusion that what doesnt kill you makes you stronger, although i knew this before it was hard for me to believe it. I have noticed how much friends influence you and how you really need people in your life who love you and appreciate you. I am thankful for all of my friends :)

All in all, I am doing better day by day and i know it will only get better if i continue to focus on my needs and wants for a little while longer. I know it sounds selfish but for 21 years i have been doing everything everyone else wants, now its ME time! On a more relaxed note.....

GROWING UP SUCKS!!!
I really dont want to grow up :( but it has happened i am responsible! haha.