So tomorrow I start school ahhh. This is exciting but sooo nervous.. I have a whole bunch of stuff running through my head, am I going to do good? Will I make it? Will the money be worth it... blah blah blah!!!
I am hoping for the best and hope I can do this... it is a lot different when it is your money and not just high school where you don't think about it. But here goes nothing... Paralegal here I come!!!
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Waiting
Today me and mike are waiting for news regarding a personal thing. It sucks waiting! I am always waiting on someone else. Today and yesterday look boring haha. Since I don't start school until Monday I really don't have much to do. I want to get a job, but in order to see how my hours are I need to see my work load.. again... WAITING! bah! I wish waiting didn't take so long haha!
Looks like the next 14 months of me blogging are going to be about school, and more school and studying. I should really do something with my life this week :)
Hope everyone has a great day!
Looks like the next 14 months of me blogging are going to be about school, and more school and studying. I should really do something with my life this week :)
Hope everyone has a great day!
Sunday, April 17, 2011
My Life Now :)
I have not written a blog in like 6 months.. so here we go!
I recently moved back to Lethbridge, a decision I have not totally agreed with. One good thing that has happened is College. I am going to be taking the Paralegal program which is 14 months straight (no break) ... harsh.. but it will be worth it! I am really excited and I start in a week!! This whole school thing scares me to death also, I am shy with new situations and new people.
I am thankful I have a good man, and a great best friend who is there to push me in the right direction. They are awesome people and just want the best for me.
In other news,
I am engaged. I mentioned him in the beginning of my blog but since than we have 75% changed for the best. Yes we still have lots to work on and personal issues to deal with. But I can not imagine my life without him, and on the off chance that we are not meant to be together he would still be my best friend. We have endured a lot and have one of our biggest challenges coming up on Tuesday. A date that scares me to death but I know if we love each other it will work out for the best and the way the lord wants it to.
I am sorry for all of the negative posts, my goal is to write positive and this can be my outlet on good things. I realize we all have struggles and some harder than others in our eyes, but to the individual person it is hard. I have not always been the best friend or good listener. I am working on that. I am thankful for my friends that have stuck by me! I have learned that the drama the world has to offer is not for me. I feel so much better cutting those people out of my life. I would not be a good friend to them and nor them to me. Keep me and mike in your prayers as like I said we are facing a life changing event. Thank you again everyone.
I recently moved back to Lethbridge, a decision I have not totally agreed with. One good thing that has happened is College. I am going to be taking the Paralegal program which is 14 months straight (no break) ... harsh.. but it will be worth it! I am really excited and I start in a week!! This whole school thing scares me to death also, I am shy with new situations and new people.
I am thankful I have a good man, and a great best friend who is there to push me in the right direction. They are awesome people and just want the best for me.
In other news,
I am engaged. I mentioned him in the beginning of my blog but since than we have 75% changed for the best. Yes we still have lots to work on and personal issues to deal with. But I can not imagine my life without him, and on the off chance that we are not meant to be together he would still be my best friend. We have endured a lot and have one of our biggest challenges coming up on Tuesday. A date that scares me to death but I know if we love each other it will work out for the best and the way the lord wants it to.
I am sorry for all of the negative posts, my goal is to write positive and this can be my outlet on good things. I realize we all have struggles and some harder than others in our eyes, but to the individual person it is hard. I have not always been the best friend or good listener. I am working on that. I am thankful for my friends that have stuck by me! I have learned that the drama the world has to offer is not for me. I feel so much better cutting those people out of my life. I would not be a good friend to them and nor them to me. Keep me and mike in your prayers as like I said we are facing a life changing event. Thank you again everyone.
Friday, October 15, 2010
Job!!!
I finally found a job it is so exciting! I love working again, and making money but most of all having something to do during the day! I work at a pet store which I LOVE!! The crappy thing is we have to be there at 730am if we are on morning shift because we have to clean the animals and feed them. I am so excited to become higher in the company which is happening in like a week I hope, I will be a supervisor!! I never though I would like working, but it actually makes you feel like you are apart of something. I always have that fear of screwing up, considering how I got fired from my last job. So all in all I am liking it so far plus next week I dont have to get up at 6 woot I can sleep in till 2!! Its pretty exciting stuff haha. Now that I have made all of you bored, I just thought it would be nice to put something positive up.
Other than that not to much has changed, still living in Edmonton doing the same old same old haha. I will be registering for school any day now, as soon as they make it available online!!! Pretty pumped for that!! :) I am looking forward to starting my new life, and making a difference in my life and becoming who I am suppose to be!
Other than that not to much has changed, still living in Edmonton doing the same old same old haha. I will be registering for school any day now, as soon as they make it available online!!! Pretty pumped for that!! :) I am looking forward to starting my new life, and making a difference in my life and becoming who I am suppose to be!
Friday, October 8, 2010
People
People can be one of gods greatest creation and one of the devils puppets. People love,hurt, regret, prosper, hate, disappoint, surprise and conquer. We are all different we think different we act to situations differently we speak our mind differently we love differently we get mad differently WE ARE ALL DIFFERENT!!
This brings me to saying sometimes I can really hate 'em. I am sick of 2 faced people, people who think they are greater than one another and people who are selfish. I have and always will put my heart into all my friendships if you are my friend I will stand in the way of a bullet for you. When you disrespect me I will move out of the way and hide behind you from a bullet. I think I have gone to long doing so much for my friends and getting treated like crap afterward because what they wanted doesn't work out. I will be anyone's friend and be friendly to anyone... until you screw me over or hurt me.
I think it is rude for someone who thinks they are higher than someone to try and call you out on crap... which I think after explaining more in depth that means hypocrite. The key word being THINKS. No one is better than anyone else we are all equal that's what we strive for in this country and for most part the world. Another thing we strive for is freedom of speech. If you don't like what I post or what I say that is hurting me, than why are we even talking in the first place? For 1 you don't mind it hurts me, for 2 you are judging me when you portray yourself as selfish and a preppy B****, for 3 you obviously dont care for what I truly say, for 4 you assume on what I am talking about. I don't spread UNTRUE rumors about people, I truly don't care what anyone thinks of me, at the end of the day I am trying to please myself and God. People may think I am dramatic, well obviously you don't know me... for those who do know me will say I am strong willed and very opinionated. Frankly, I think the whole world should be than I think people will regret less.
If you really don't like me... don't talk to me, don't try to be my friend because really who are we fooling? I do stand up for what is right and true if you cant accept the fact that you are to stubborn to admit I am right than just go. You are not worth my time. I know this may be mean or crude but if you can't handle it than dont worry about what I say :)
This brings me to saying sometimes I can really hate 'em. I am sick of 2 faced people, people who think they are greater than one another and people who are selfish. I have and always will put my heart into all my friendships if you are my friend I will stand in the way of a bullet for you. When you disrespect me I will move out of the way and hide behind you from a bullet. I think I have gone to long doing so much for my friends and getting treated like crap afterward because what they wanted doesn't work out. I will be anyone's friend and be friendly to anyone... until you screw me over or hurt me.
I think it is rude for someone who thinks they are higher than someone to try and call you out on crap... which I think after explaining more in depth that means hypocrite. The key word being THINKS. No one is better than anyone else we are all equal that's what we strive for in this country and for most part the world. Another thing we strive for is freedom of speech. If you don't like what I post or what I say that is hurting me, than why are we even talking in the first place? For 1 you don't mind it hurts me, for 2 you are judging me when you portray yourself as selfish and a preppy B****, for 3 you obviously dont care for what I truly say, for 4 you assume on what I am talking about. I don't spread UNTRUE rumors about people, I truly don't care what anyone thinks of me, at the end of the day I am trying to please myself and God. People may think I am dramatic, well obviously you don't know me... for those who do know me will say I am strong willed and very opinionated. Frankly, I think the whole world should be than I think people will regret less.
If you really don't like me... don't talk to me, don't try to be my friend because really who are we fooling? I do stand up for what is right and true if you cant accept the fact that you are to stubborn to admit I am right than just go. You are not worth my time. I know this may be mean or crude but if you can't handle it than dont worry about what I say :)
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Church
So I don't know where else to write this..
Something about the church doesn't feel right these days, maybe its the fact that there as many fake people as people that believe. Maybe the fact they think they are like non other maybe in some ways, but for the most part we still have the cliques and backstabbers liars and rude people. As much as you strive not to be that way there is always a way you are to certain people. I thought moving into a YSA ward would be different because people my own age. But out of my whole ward there is a handful of people that are amazing. To me that is not right we should all be striving to be amazing in every way, not perfect but outstanding in all we do. As much as I love the church like leaders have told us many go astray from members and other leaders. This has been bugging me for a while and it never seems to get better no matter how hard i try, so how can it be me if i change everything about me for the better and it still happens.. I still believe in the church but not the people that think they are above anyone for choosing/going to this church. I guess i am in a confusing spot, I know we are suppose to go to church for us and for the teachings but the people make you hate going and unwelcome what more can you do?
Maybe this post was to much but maybe this will also change somethings, maybe people will realize not to exclude anyone. Its sad when the thing you have believed in since you were 8 doesn't seem to make you as happy and innocent as it did.
I am shocked at what some people in this church do.
Something about the church doesn't feel right these days, maybe its the fact that there as many fake people as people that believe. Maybe the fact they think they are like non other maybe in some ways, but for the most part we still have the cliques and backstabbers liars and rude people. As much as you strive not to be that way there is always a way you are to certain people. I thought moving into a YSA ward would be different because people my own age. But out of my whole ward there is a handful of people that are amazing. To me that is not right we should all be striving to be amazing in every way, not perfect but outstanding in all we do. As much as I love the church like leaders have told us many go astray from members and other leaders. This has been bugging me for a while and it never seems to get better no matter how hard i try, so how can it be me if i change everything about me for the better and it still happens.. I still believe in the church but not the people that think they are above anyone for choosing/going to this church. I guess i am in a confusing spot, I know we are suppose to go to church for us and for the teachings but the people make you hate going and unwelcome what more can you do?
Maybe this post was to much but maybe this will also change somethings, maybe people will realize not to exclude anyone. Its sad when the thing you have believed in since you were 8 doesn't seem to make you as happy and innocent as it did.
I am shocked at what some people in this church do.
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Happy or not Happy.. :/
These past few days have been kinda blah/good lets just say messed up.. which isn't unusual i guess ha-ha. There have been so many ups and downs its hard to keep track.
You know its hard when you live in a society that half say live your life they way you want to and nothing bad will happen as long as you are making yourself happy than there is the other half telling you to think about others and that life should be planned. At this point in time I think I am in the middle, I love my life to an extent I suppose. I try to make the best out of it whenever I can. The good days come and go but it seems they are getting few and far between. The bad starts to weigh down the good and the depressed state hits. The days where you just dont want to get out of bed because you wonder what bad the world holds for you today. Maybe it is my mindset, but also maybe I am just a very unlucky person, maybe I think to much, maybe I over worry and maybe I am just not happy where I am. This all happens to run through my mind before I get the energy to get on with the day and out of bed.
You know that feeling when you feel you can't do anything right no matter how hard you try. You always let someone down. There have been so many people I have felt I let down because of the choices I made but sadly by the looks of it I keep doing it and dont learn from my mistakes. I don't know how to get out of this slum and it sucks when no matter what anyone says you still want to lay in bed and cry (your not sure why, but just cry). Some one needs to invent a brain switch where you can just veg out for an hour and forget everything, sadly that is not possible. I find myself struggling with finding myself more and more each day, I dont know if its because the situation I am in makes me hate who I am becoming or what.
I hope this clears up soon, it would be awesome to be actually happy again.
You know its hard when you live in a society that half say live your life they way you want to and nothing bad will happen as long as you are making yourself happy than there is the other half telling you to think about others and that life should be planned. At this point in time I think I am in the middle, I love my life to an extent I suppose. I try to make the best out of it whenever I can. The good days come and go but it seems they are getting few and far between. The bad starts to weigh down the good and the depressed state hits. The days where you just dont want to get out of bed because you wonder what bad the world holds for you today. Maybe it is my mindset, but also maybe I am just a very unlucky person, maybe I think to much, maybe I over worry and maybe I am just not happy where I am. This all happens to run through my mind before I get the energy to get on with the day and out of bed.
You know that feeling when you feel you can't do anything right no matter how hard you try. You always let someone down. There have been so many people I have felt I let down because of the choices I made but sadly by the looks of it I keep doing it and dont learn from my mistakes. I don't know how to get out of this slum and it sucks when no matter what anyone says you still want to lay in bed and cry (your not sure why, but just cry). Some one needs to invent a brain switch where you can just veg out for an hour and forget everything, sadly that is not possible. I find myself struggling with finding myself more and more each day, I dont know if its because the situation I am in makes me hate who I am becoming or what.
I hope this clears up soon, it would be awesome to be actually happy again.
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